This is the Rubbery Shrubbery blog, where you’ve been learning how Yachats (YAH-hots), Oregon, acquires a Major League Baseball franchise. To learn more about Yachats and its inhabitants—called Yachatians (yah-HAY-shuns)— please go to this page or go to GoYachats.
Yachatians have received a very nice, down-to-earth letter from Joe Roly-Poly Mole, Mayor of the MoleSmelt Township, which occupies the basement level of Rubbery Shrubbery Stadium, home of the Yachats Smelt. The Rubbery Shrubbery staff wants to thank Melinda Bender for translating the mayor’s letter.
A Word from the Mayor of MoleSmelt Township
Translation by Melinda Bender
Joe Roly-Poly Mole, Mayor
42 Ye Old Ballfield
32 – 39
July 12, 2013
Dear Smelt Yachatians:
Our fine MoleSmelt Township wishes to thank you for the exhilarating baseball game last year and congratulate you on a game well played. We thank you for being so kind as to not disturb our molehill homes.
We apologize for the inconvenience when you are running, as we know this causes you to stumble. These are the only homes we know how to build. Until we send our local engineers, architects, and builders on to more schooling, we will not be able to change our design to more fully fit your needs. (Any assistance in helping us become admitted to OSU would be much appreciated as there is still subtle discrimination against us mole folks, but times are changing—change is in the soil!) Thank you for your understanding and leaving our molehill homes as they are; we appreciate this. Although our dishes and furniture do rattle, it is well worth the clamor to see your runners rounding the bases, and we are happy to have a day off from our work and rooting of passageways. Dusting and tidying our homes can be done on another day.
We imagine you did not see us watching your team during your 2012 game, but our tiny MoleSmelt Township was in full force cheering you on. Being a quiet, peaceful group of townsmoles, we stayed nearest to the big pond/swamp where we could adequately take cover. Because of our shy ways, it is likely we will stay in a clandestine locale this year too.
Our calendars are marked for Saturday, July 20, 2013—the Triple Play Baseball Game; we are anxiously awaiting the arrival of this great day! (Hopefully, Shoeless Joe Jackson and Joe DiMaggio will be with you in spirit—my namesakes! And you might notice our phone number and zip code represent our favorite team and ballplayers.)
Good job to those of you who come out to play on Saturdays, and we did witness a small group in May: two ladies were playing catch with a man who had a swift sidearm delivery.
Many of us moles played moleball as youngsters (similar to baseball) only played by us roly-poly moles. (A dear relative even played catch outside Yankee Stadium before the stadium was demolished.) Smelt Yachatians, you have inspired us to investigate bringing in a major league moleball team to MoleSmelt Township, and we have created our own local moleball team!
Good luck with your endeavors to acquire a major league team! Thank you, thank you for your inspiration; we extend our warmest gratitude to you.
Joe Roly-Poly Mole, Mayor
Editor’s note: We are including a photo of Mitzi (see Fig. 1), Joe’s lovely wife (she’s much more photogenic than Joe). Mitzi is a former fashion model (she’s appeared on the cover of Loam and Burrow magazine), and she was a winner on the popular TV show Subterranean Idol.
Be sure to check out the “Yachats Smelt” page on Facebook, and “Like” us if you’re so inclined. Thank you.