32 – How We Will Spend Our Vacation


This is the Rubbery Shrubbery (RS) blog again. It will tell you about Yachats (YAH-hots), Oregon, and its inhabitants—called Yachatians (yah-HAY-shuns)—as they acquire a Major League Baseball franchise. To learn more about Yachats (“Baseball Capital of the World”), please go to this page or go to GoYachats.

The people who populate this blog are taking a week’s vacation. We know you are anxious to learn how they will be spending their hard-earned free time. Okay, maybe anxious is too strong a word. Perhaps you’re slightly curious.

How We Will Spend Our Vacation
by the Rubbery Shrubbery staff

In random alphabetical order:

Bebe Broadbent will be heading down to Duck Egg, Oregon, to visit the world famous Oregon Artificial Botanical Gardens. A few days basking in the sham perfection of nature’s synthetic beauty will recharge her batteries.

Wumpy Mugwump will not attempt to swim the Yachats River again, lengthwise. He tried this last year and was doing well until he came to the first rapids. This year he will be sitting in a rocking chair on the front porch of the Cannibal Hotel in Cannibal Mountain, Oregon, counting migrating dragonflies. See Fig. 1.

Figure 1. Dragonfly considering migrating so it can be counted.*

Harrison Grutch will travel to Migraine Springs, Texas, to report on that town’s efforts to be the Smelt’s spring training site.

Isabel Stackhollow will be on tour to promote her latest best seller Solving Problems with Expletives.

Big Forbes Crossbowe will compete in the Jigsaw Puzzle Championship Tournament in Wishing Well, South Dakota. He’s been practicing for weeks.

Brassica Chin will be driving to Lost Locust, Nevada, to enter the bull riding event in a small rodeo in the mayor’s backyard.

Annabella Kowalski will travel to Noti, Oregon, to join other skunkers as she pursues her favorite hobby, skunkspotting. She hopes to add several species to her life list. Noti is a well-known hotbed of skunks. See Fig. 2.

Phyllicida Thronk is looking forward to traveling to Cannibal Mountain to do some ballroom dancing every night at Shaggy’s Bar and Grill.

Bud and Bonnie Klondike (our honeymoon couple from Post # 6—please review if necessary) plan to continue their honeymoon indefinitely.

Dzunukwa (Sasquatch witch who has applied for the Smelt’s General Manager position) says her heavy workload won’t allow her time to take a vacation. Please see Fig. 3.

Figure 2. A skunkspotting tower. Skunkers prefer observing from a discreet height.**

Figure 3. Likeness of Dzunukwa.***

* This is a Kirby Dropwing (Trithemis kirbyi) in Namibia. Photo by © Hans Hillewaert.

** Photo from Wikipedia.

*** Dzunukwa mask, in collection of the Museum of Anthropology, University of British Columbia. Photo by © Leoboudv.

Next time: You’ll get a rundown on how well Brassica rode the bulls in Lost Locust. And Wumpy and Phyllicida will report on their experiences at Cannibal Mountain.

NOTE: Although “Big Foot” is often used as a synonym for “Sasquatch,” it’s now considered a pejorative term and is unacceptable. In fact, it was the original pejorative term and the word “bigotry” is derived from it.

NOTE AGAIN: Eric Sallee and Dave Baldwin haven’t been sued yet.

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